Living When a Young Friend Commits Suicide by Earl A. Grollman

Author:Earl A. Grollman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Beacon Press
Published: 2010-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Laughing

We’ve told you not to hold in your feelings. Just as we’ve encouraged you to accept and express anger, guilt, fear, and sadness, we also encourage you to laugh. To react to something that’s funny is not a betrayal of your friend. Laughter provides occasional relief from your sadness. Mourning is work. It is hard, emotional work. Like every other kind of work you do, you need to take a break from it. During the Civil War Abraham Lincoln often began important meetings with a humorous story. When asked why he did this he said, “If I don’t, I think my heart will break.”

Your memories of your friend include times you laughed with him. You are not denying the pain of losing him when you remember the good times. Sadness is waiting for you on the other side of the laughter. Pain should not be your constant companion.

American prisoners of war in Vietnam and Jewish Holocaust survivors have reported that the ability to appreciate humor and to laugh helped them to survive. Mark Twain experienced the sorrow of his daughter’s death. Yet it was Twain who said, “The true source of humor is not joy but sorrow.”

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